Do You Have To Go To Court For a Divorce?
Lisa Pepper
Table of Contents
If your divorce is uncontested and there are no disputes over issues such as what happens to the marital home and arrangements for children, it is possible to obtain a divorce without attending court.
However, if there are disputes over these issues, it may be necessary to attend court to resolve them. This can involve attending family mediation sessions or hearings to reach agreements on issues such as child custody, child maintenance payments, and the division of property.
So how do you avoid a courtroom battle when you divorce? Here are our 5 top tips:
5 ways to avoid Court during a divorce
1. Discuss your children arrangements first
After making the decision to divorce, on of the first things you should try to do is talk about children arrangements. You need to agree on their living arrangements and shared care. Even though you are divorcing, your children still need both of you in their lives (unless that would be contrary to the child’s welfare) – and research shows consistently that a long-running court case or mutual hostility between the parents is unhealthy for the child.
If your case did go to court, then the Judge would make an Order settling the arrangements, the paramount consideration in the court’s decision being the child’s welfare.
That is a good place to start as your primary goal. Another good thing to bear in mind is: what would they say to you? When you look back on this situation in 5 years time, how would you want to remember it – would you be proud of yourselves that you conducted your separation with dignity and were both able to put your children first? How do you want your children to remember this time?
2. Talk about your finances
Another important matter you need to do is talk about your divorce finances. You need to think about things like who will stay in the family home or is it to be sold, whether one of you will move out, and how you will divide your joint assets, such as property, savings and pensions, as well as how debts are to be dealt with.
A solicitor can help you to understand your rights and obligations under the law, and they can provide guidance on how to reach a fair and equitable agreement with your former spouse. If discussions break down, then a cost-effective process like mediation or private financial dispute resolution can help you strike a fair deal out of court – more on those below.
3. Don’t play the blame game
In England and Wales, new no fault divorce rules mean that you no longer have to apportion blame in order to obtain a divorce. You can simply state that your marriage has ‘irretrievably broken down’ in your divorce petition.
However, even though you no longer have to blame someone legally, it’s important not to play the blame game emotionally with your partner. How you behave during the divorce process will have a big impact on how well you cooperate and how smoothly the negotiations go. Yes, you may be hurt or angry. But try to take the high road and remind yourself of the bigger picture. This will help keep your negotiations on the right track.
4. Use alternative ways to resolve disputes
There are many alternative ways to resolve disputes without going to court. Family mediation can be a great way to meet with your ex-partner on neutral ground, using a trained third party to help you reach an agreement without going to court.
For financial disputes, you also have the option of using private FDR (Financial Dispute Resolution). This is where you pay a very experienced family lawyer (frequently someone who also sits as a Judge) to act as a Private FDR Judge. The process is more informal than a court hearing and much less adversarial, so it’s more likely that a settlement will be reached.
5. Choose a solicitor who prefers collaboration over aggression
When you’re choosing a family law solicitor to help with your divorce, it’s important to choose one who prefers collaboration over battling it out in a courtroom. Solicitors who prefer collaboration have lots of tools in their toolbox for resolving disputes amicably. They will help you communicate effectively with your ex and may recommend face-to-face meetings with them and their solicitor, to help you talk through your sticking points. They can also put you in touch with other professionals, such as mediators and financial experts, who can help you resolve things without going to court.
Our solicitors are members of Resolution. This means we’re committed to the constructive resolution of family disputes. The collaborative process can be quicker and cheaper than traditional legal methods, and much less stressful than going to court.
Lisa Pepper is a partner in the family department specialising in divorce and finance matters. She is also an accredited mediator. She is ranked as a leading lawyer in Chambers UK, Chambers HNW, The Legal 500, Spears HNW directory and Tatler Advisory.
To speak with Lisa or her team please call or complete the form below.
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Lisa Pepper is particularly recognised for her role as a mediator in complex cross-border disputes. Her practice also includes handling prenuptial agreements and issues arising from divorces. She is additionally skilled in Schedule 1 and other child arrangement matters.
Mark Freedman frequently takes on high-value financial and children proceedings that involve complex tax, trust and accounting issues.
"Andrew Watson is respected and tenacious in matrimonial finance. You would want him on your team."
"David Leadercrammer is such an experienced wonderful lawyer who you would want on the other side of your case. He’s sensible, pragmatic and hugely experienced in money and children cases."
"She has a good way of talking to clients in an empathetic way and is also a highly recommended mediator."
"One of the most amiable, friendly and talented lawyers in London... she has impressed me as someone who fights my corner but also understands the importance of resolving issues without unnecessary escalation. She is calm and reassuring."
Lisa Pepper is the stand out performer of the practice. She is pragmatic and straightforward to deal with – committed to the good outcome for the family
Lisa Pepper is outstanding and highly approachable and effective. She has a lovely manner that brings out the best in clients.
Osbornes has a strong mediation team led by Lisa Pepper. Lisa is a very experienced mediator who often places clients at ease and allows them to discuss very difficult topics. She is empathetic but knows when to be more directive if the clients require.
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Andrew secured me the best financial settlement for my claim. He is a credit to Osbornes Solicitors.
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"Mark Freedman is a very capable lawyer, renowned for not being a pushover and pushing his clients’ cases as much as he can, but will always talk sensibly about settlement. He is among the best – tenacious, good judgment and tactically aware."
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"Jo Wescott is top notch and widely recognised as a rising star throughout the profession. She brings a winning combination of great judgement, an immense work ethic, and a relaxed and charming way with opponents and clients alike. Someone you want on your side”
"Osbornes is pre-eminent for family law in North London. Mark Freedman is a real rainmaker. He is an excellent lawyer and has a top-notch practice"
Mark Freedman is intelligent and personable and has a good selection of high-net work cases.
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"Client-focused. Ready to fight the clients’ corner, but also ready where possible to steer client from unnecessary dispute. Mark Freedman – very experienced, with good instinct for the eventual result. Clients love him and he thinks ahead and directs the client to the best result for the client."
Mark Freedman is a serious player. A fearless family law litigator, who protects his clients’ interests passionately.
Breadth of knowledge and willingness to go the extra mile is what makes it stand out. Mark Freedman – devoted to his clients
Lisa Pepper is extremely approachable and this shines through in the outcomes she achieves from mediation. She makes clients feel at ease, which enables them to feel empowered to resolve matters amicably and find a creative outcome which many mediators may have overlooked.
Lisa Pepper is building a very strong mediation practice at very competitive rates and is able to build a rapport quickly with almost anyone.
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Lisa Pepper – good litigator, very friendly and approachable but tough, “straight bat” with the opposition. Can steer a client deftly to settle when he should.
Mark Freedman frequently takes on high-value financial and children proceedings that involve complex tax, trust and accounting issues. Sources praise the "tenacity and common sense" he brings to challenging disputes.
"Mark is very experienced, competent, good with clients and takes a sensible approach to cases. He knows exactly what he's doing."
Lisa Pepper is particularly recognised for her role as a mediator in complex cross-border disputes. Her practice also includes handling prenuptial agreements and issues arising from the dissolution of civil partnerships.
"An exceptional outfit. They take on difficult cases, fight hard and win."
"The team frequently deals with cross-border estates for high–net-worth individuals."
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Andrew handled a very complex, 3 year legal battle for me, with a tremendous amount of patience and professionalism. He is very approachable, always kept me up to date, by phone and e-mail, and responded very quickly to my queries with excellent advice, sound strategic thinking and strong letters to put the other side under pressure. With top contacts for barristers, joint experts and mediation.
[The Family Law department] handles significant matrimonial finance cases and complex nuptial agreements. Respected for its expertise in cross-border children law matters.
Mark Freedman represents high net worth clients in complex financial disputes. Sources say that "he's a determined negotiator who'll always do the very best for his clients.
Lisa Pepper deals with separation proceedings and leave to remove cases. Sources describe her as "a great person to work with: constructive, helpful and always infectiously happy.
"Mark Freedman receives a lot of instructions from clients based abroad, often relating to complex divorce proceedings. Sources say: “His main strengths are his enthusiastic passion for the job in hand and his total dedication to his clients.”
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